Ah, Harry...We knew him well.

And another one bites the dust.

I was watching the Dancing with the Stars results show last night. America voted to eliminate Harry Hamlin and professional dancer Ashly Del Grosso.

"Why?", you ask.

The answer, my sweeties, is because Harry dances like a walking toothpick. Even my fat ass could dance a tango with more passion than that. I'm sure when Harry and Ashly visited the Argentinian tango club earlier this week, the regulars looked at him like, "You must unclench...everything."

I feel so bad for Ashly Del Grosso, though. She's a fantastic dancer and the cutest little thing. Last season she had to contend with Master P (aka P. Miller), who danced like Frankenstein's Monster in basketball sneakers. For some reason, they weren't eliminated as early as they should have been (like week 1; "Kenny Mayne, you are safe!"). For about six weeks straight, poor little Ashly had to dance her tiny ass off around P. to compensate for for the "Frank factor". After each performance, America continued to vote them through to the next week, largely for entertainment value (watching P.), and also largely for sympathy value for Ashly. I lost faith in the American public a little more each week.

This season, she had to get the toothpick, Harry Hamlin, to loosen up. While as daunting a task as this might have been, Harry, couldn't you have taken some lessons from your wife Lisa Rinna in the off-season? Look how well she did. Well, America didn't have much sympathy for Harry. It's not that we didn't like you Harry, really. It's just that you're no Master P.

So we bid a fond farewell to Harry Hamlin and Ashly Del Grosso.


BTW - Speaking of mismatched dancing partners, this goes out to Louis van Amstel. Why when you're choreographing the Paso Doble (that's Double-Turn for all y'all ignant mo-fo's), would you partner Ashly, who I'd say is a diminutive 5'2", with Nick Kossovich (aka Wolfenstein), who stands at a towering 6'5" at least. That looked like some serious Master-Blaster/My Giant shit.

"Excuse me, Nick. It's a little difficult to dance with you when your dick's in my eye."



BTW - Yes I'm back again. What the fuck are the Scissor Sisters? That was they gayest shit I've seen in a while. How are you called Scissor Sisters whe there's only one woman (at least I'm pretty sure that was a woman, not a dude in drag) and she's not even the lead singer. And WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A BASS PLAYER!!?! (No, I'm not looking for a gig)

Labels: TV