Somebody explain this to me.

I don't know if you already know what NuvaRing is, but put simply it's a birth control device.

One of the dislosed warnings to users of the NuvaRing is, "If you are already pregnant, you should not use NuvaRing."

Excuse me, but if you're already pregnant, isn't it a touch late to be thinking about birth control?

Labels: Rants, TV

What the hell am I doing?

OK, so I had settled in for a nice night of XBOX 360. I had some really tender and juicy ribs made for dinner that I was about to tear into. Just an average Tuesday.

I decided to give Jade a call around 7:30, just because she had called me earlier that day on my cell and I had missed the call. I wanted to get in touch with her before she possibly went in to work that night. I stepped outside and dialed her up on my cell. I don't know, I find there's more privacy outdoors than inside sometimes.

So we made small talk for a little bit. You know, how are you?, how's your day been going?, oh, nothing much, just fine. Then she drops a bomb on me.

OK, so maybe not a bomb, but definitely a surprise. She told me that she might be getting fired from Double Visions. I asked her why. She told me that she was having problems with the management and some of the other girls there. She told me she worked at 7th Heaven on day shift and only made a stinking $20. I sympathized with her. The next thing I know, she's asking me out for coffee or dinner.

Shhyiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

On the outside, I politely said, "Sure, I'd love to."
On the inside, I shouted, "HELL MUTHA FUCKIN' YES, GAT DAMMIT!!!"

I could tell she just needed someone to talk to. Hey, strippers are people, too. She even offered to pay for dinner. She suggested we meet at Casablanca. I had never had Moroccan food, but I didn't really give a shit.

I hung up with her and fucking RACED upstairs to go freshen up some. I flew out the door like a bat out of hell. Left the ribs out, the TV & XBOX on, all the lights in the house on. I got some gas and was screaming down the turnpike. Damn near took out a tractor-trailer. I told Jade to look for me around 9. What can I say, the place is in Warrington. That's kind of a hump. But honestly, If you knew this girl like I know this girl, you'd fucking walk the 35 miles to be with her. The whole way I was driving thinking, "I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but I'm exciteder than a mutha fucker to find out."

So I met up with her at Casablanca. It was a very cozy atmosphere. Our waiter was the best. He was so friendly. He did his thing washing our hands with rose water. You could really tell he enjoyed what he did. They gave us sooooo much food. Good thing I left those ribs behind.

BTW, the Moroccan food was great if you're looking for something exotic. But it's f***ing expensive. Expect to pay like $35/person. Also, you traditionally have to eat everything with your hands, but they were kind enough to give us forks at this place.

We talked for hours. We just sat close to each other and talked. I was on my guard, knowing her profession, but it was relaxing knowing that what we do and say when she's working could be left at work. We could be ourselves. Outside of work she was so sweet and vulnerable. She was so cute picking up the food with her hands and giggling. I was my usual charming self. We sat comfortably for hours well after the place closed. I couldn't take my eyes off her. And I don't mean her ass. I did want to hold her close and lay her head on my chest and kiss her. Something told me she would have gone for it, but that wasn't what she was looking for. I had to resist that urge.

I kept my guard up looking for some of the usual signs of being manipulated. I'm happy to report that Jade seemed very genuine. Believe me, I'm very skeptical and cynical. Remember stupid, but not that stupid. And besides, there are much easier ways to get money or anything else from me.

After we left, I walked her to her car and gave her a hug and a kiss goodnight. I told her to call me tomorrow. I wanted to see her again. All in all, I didn't know what to expect going in, but it actually turned out to be one of the better dates I've had.

Labels: Dating, Hot Bitches, Night life

Happy New Year to all the members of the blogosphere who happen to stop by my little part of the world. (All both of you)

What does the new year hold for WALDO? Well, let me tell ya.

1st, I'm going to get some of this fucking weight off me. I'm tired of carrying the weight of more than two normal adults on me. That shit gets real old, real fast. I wreck furniture, I have to buy much more expensive clothes than normal, I always have to be conscious of my size everywhere I go. I'm just too damn sexy for that. I always have to make compromises for everything. I'm just tired of the shit. I mean it this time. I'm going to do something every damn day. Maybe a half-hour every day. I don't care what it is. It's not like I don't have a stinking treadmill, step machine and 2 exercise bikes somewhere in my house. I'm going to walk/run or lift every day. Hell there's a gym I could belong to that's 40 feet outside my office at GHR. Maybe I'll actually take up boxing rather than bullshitting like I know what I'm doing.

2nd, I'm going to get out there and get a new girlfriend instead of feeling fucking sorry for myself that Jenn dumped me. What the fuck is wrong with me? Her loss, anyway. I think maybe she was a wake-up call for my life. An indicator that things are turning. They are going my way, but I can't just let life happen to me. I have to go out there and make moves for myself and when I do, I will reap the benfits. I do miss her, and I did see myself (in the future) having a life with her (marriage, kids, etc.), but you know what? She missed the boat. She's not the only woman out there.

I took a good long look at my life this past year. It had some really big upswings. New girlfriend, new job. For God's sake, I'm 27 years old and it's time to start living life for me. Make shit happen for WALDO. I happened to hear a commercial on the radio yesterday featuring Dr. Phil and one of the things hesaid was, "It's OK to put yourself out there. It's OK to say, 'This is MY time.'" And you know what? He's right. This is MY time. The year of the WALDO.