So I stopped in to my local Hooters last night after work and got a couple of beers and a burger.

Lo and behold, as I was sitting at my table enjoying my dinner and the view, a group of like 15-year old kids walk in. Two twerps and their little blonde girlfriends. They sit down and order and socialize like it's the fucking Denny's. WTF!?! First, if you're a girl, wouldn't you have a problem with your boyfriend going to Hooters? Much less joining him? Nothing caps off a long day of mall shopping like a trip to Hooters. Second, no one batted an eye when they came in. Not the servers, not the managers, no one. They just sat there, smoking cigarettes, eating their food, and giggling.

Pile on top of that, an entire family comes in to eat. Mom, Dad, three adolescent boys and one adolescent girl. They actually seemed excited to be there. I kept picturing a scenario in my mind where each member of the family got to choose where to eat and it was one of the boys' turn. The mom wasn't even taken aback at anything. Shouldn't you have some reservations about your family dining at Hooters?

The last time I was at this Hooters, we thought it was Bring Your Baby to Hooters Day. There were like two or three groups of guys swilling beer right next to their babies in high chairs.

I remember before that, this past summer, I was at Hooters for lunch with the guys at GHR and there was quite literally a busload of summer camp kids. All boys. Now this one I could understand. Some counselor was like, "Alright, nobody say nuthin'". I bet it was like some secret field trip that their parents' weren't supposed to find out about.


It's a different world. For sure. I'm not a prude. Far from it, but what the fuck is happening to our society? Hooters used to be a place where guys could go to escape their wives and go see some near-T'n'A. A pervert's paradise. One step up from the strip club, yet still socially close to acceptable. Nowadays it's an accepted practice. Huh? Where do we draw the line? In another ten years will it be Bring Your Daughter to the Strip Club Day? Why don't you fill out an application for her while you're at it?

What the hell?

Labels: Bars, Hot Bitches, Rants, Strip clubs

Ecch! I've been eating like shit the past week. I've had so much crap.

Usually I eat like this very unconsciously when I'm stressed. This past week was a combination of stress and circumstance. So far I've had the following:

1. An entire Franzone's pizza
2. Half a Franzone's pizza
3. Buffalo Chicken Fajitas at Chili's
4. A Bleu Cheeseburger from Bennigan's
5. Catered pasta from Little Sicily
6. Catered pizza AND stromboli from Amedeo's
7. A giant Cheese steak omelet skillet at O'Grady's
8. A 12" Chicken Parm. sandwich and 2 cheeseburgers from TD Alfredo's
9. To top it all off I had like 4 Entenmann's donuts in the span of a couple of hours.

Now some of these were unavoidable. Catered lunches at mandatory meetings. The group I go to lunch with decided they wanted to go to certain places this week.

The rest was me stress eating. Truthfully I cant even identify what the stressor is. I'm sure you can't tell it to look at me, but I don't usually eat like this. There's something subconsciously bothering me, but I don't quite know what it is. The conscious stressors I have aren't enough to make me eat like this.

What the deal?
This week I'll be eating salads for dinner. Seriously. No bullshit.

Labels: Food, Life, Work

Thank God! We finally got a much needed win in Dallas against the Cowboys last night.

Absolutely a brutal game. Just physical football. I was actually terrified that there was no score at the end of the first quarter, but at least three injuries. Roy Williams, the same muh fucka that they invented the horse collar tackle rule for, pulled one on Donovan McNabb. That was some bullshit!

We were in prime fuckup territory with a small lead and only a few minutes left on the clock in the fourth quarter. Slow it down, Andy! Brian Westbrook actually did right when he broke free near the 2-minute warning. He had a shot to go into the end zone and he sat his ass down on the 1 yard line. Way to go! Don't give them the opportunity to get the ball back and score.

Typically we fuck up games that we should have won by throwing an interception in the final minutes of a winning game. True Philly style. But we pulled it out. The Eagles are showing very much a NO QUIT attitude. Well done, boys!

REGULAR - Week 15 Dec 16, 2007  4:15 pm ET Texas Stadium   1 2 3 4 F Eagles 0 7 0 3 10 Cowboys 0 3 3 0 6

Labels: Sports, TV

You know, Facebook kicks so much ass over MySpace.

MySpace is good for a public identity. Like if you're a band or a comic or a celebrity or something and you need a web presence, MySpace is the way to do it. It's a quick way to get a feature-laden web site up for free with built-in publicity. Easy. Simple. Done.

Facebook on the other hand is much better for the personal level of social networking. In stark contrast to MySpace, you're not riddled with random friend requests, otherwise known as MySpace Spam. Friends on Facebook are grouped by their affiliation with you (high school, college, job, etc.) making them much easier to find because they are targeted searches. you will actually have a network of your friends. MySpace is kind of a free-for-all. Any random schmuck will try to be your friend.

Facebook is MUCH cleaner, prettier, more functional than MySpace. MySpace offers its users the ability to customize their layout, but that usually leads to someone putting as much garbage as they can in a layout, which then makes the layout slower, offensive, or non-functional to the casual viewer. When I just want to add you as a friend, I don't want to sit and wait for your layout to load, with your f***ed up graphics and your music player blasting Omarion at me. I just want to add you ass a friend. Some of m best friends on MySpace have the poorest choices in layouts.

Facebook has the ability to add and or design fun web applications which can be installed like plug-ins to a user's profile. This alone creates business/developer/strategic partnerships with Facebook, something MySpace is currently unable to capitalize on.

Facebook is geared much more to Web 2.0. If you don't know or understand what Web 2.0 is, then don't bother reading this section. Rather than having pages laden with large blocky advertisements and javascript errors like MySpace does, Facebook is slick, easy to use, easy to navigate, and takes advantage of those things that should be used when designing in Web 2.0, like AJAX. The bottom line is that Web 2.0 is supposed to be all about the user experience (usability). MySpace is clunky kludgy, hard to use, riddled with errors, and undergoes maintenance nearly every other week, which usually doesn't fix some of its major issues. Facebook on the other hand is clean, cutting edge, feature rich, functional, and very rarely (although I have spotted a few, no question) has errors. Or at least has significantly fewer errors than MySpace.

I've even heard multiple companies (including the one I work for) including Facebook applications as part of their overall product base. How often does that happen? Although, granted a lot of media (TV/Film/Radio/Music/Comedy) includes MySpace as part of publicity campaigns, so I will give them credit for that.

It seems like you could break down your major social networking sites like this:
Professional: LinkedIn
Media/Entertainment: MySpace
Personal: Facebook

Facebook just seems like more of a personal touch to me. Although yes, I will continue to use both, I'm going to begin gravitating more toward Facebook.

Labels: Blogging, Facebook, Games, iTunes, Javascript, MySpace, Pop Culture, Programming, Rants, Scams, Technology, Web Development

I love a good donging!

Let's be clear. A donging has nothing to do with any kind of he-bitch man sex. A donging is when you're watching a movie, usually comedy or action, and a character gets smacked in the head area with a large, usually metallic, object which makes a great sound. DONG!
e.g. - Frying pan to the back of the skull.

I love that shit! Cartoon violence. It's the greatest. Especially when it's really unexpected. If you can see it coming, it loses a lot of its value.

Labels: Comedy, Fun, Movies, TV

God Damn I hate that commercial!

There's this Pantene commercial out there that I can't f'ing get away from. It's got this ultra-fem emo jingle that drives me insane.

Here is a snippet of the lyrics.

Standing in the bedroom
Before you open up the dirty window
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin.


Oh my god I want to commit homicide every time I hear it. It's not that the commercial is terribly unpleasant. It's not. It's that I hear it every fucking five minutes! I've heard it for the last three months and I can't escape it. I'll hear it on the TV in another room and I'll RUN across the house to turn the TV off.

Aaaarrrrrgh!!!!

Lord knows I've played my share of Emo. I've even played in a couple of predominantly female bands. Some were even man-hating feminazis. I have very little against Emo. If that's your thing, play your little heart out.
I just HATE THIS FUCKING SONG! Mostly because it's absolutely inescapable. It's on every channel. Every commercial break. Pantene, PLEASE find another commercial so that we no longer have to be subjected to this.

Labels: Advertising, Pop Culture, Rants, TV

I should get shirts made.

They would read:

I AM NOT HER HUSBAND!!!


See, every Saturday, my mother and I go out for breakfast. It's kind of our weekly tradition. Only because she looks so young, people always seem to mistake us for husband and wife. People are astonished when we tell them that we are mother and son. It's also kind of unexpeted. Who takes their mother out for breakfast every week?

It's just funny, that's all. Since I've been an adult it's always been that way. It's either a huge compliment to how young she looks or it's ... OK let's not go there.

Labels: Family, Food, Life, Rants

So around 4:00 today, Jeff gets the idea in his head that we should knock off and play football for a little bit.

Good plan!

One problem. The football that Jeff keeps in his car trunk ... is still in his car trunk. Unfortunately, Jeff drove his SUV in to work today. D'oh!

I said, "I'm not going to let that stop us. We can go right now and buy a football." Sure enough, I drove over to the Sports Authority on 202 with Jeff and we purchased a football and were back in like 20 minutes. Sweet!

We knocked off around 4:15 and went out in the street on Renaissance Blvd. and played a game of catch for about 45 minutes. Jeff, RC, Kel, Alex, Anton, and me.

We discovered that the Russians in our group have had little experience with throwing a football, so we taught them. It was like 40 degrees outside, but so what. We're men. We can take it. Of course Alex ran to his car to get gloves and earmuffs. Wuss, hehe ;) Aren't you from Russia? Shouldn't you be used to the cold?


Damn, that was fun. That was just what the doctor ordered.
Where else can you work in corporate America and not only knock off to go play football in the street, but leave work to go out and actually buy the football? I love this job, man!

Labels: Fun, Games, Sports, Work

I was checking Google Analytics and Google Webmaster Tools on Friday and I was presented with a slightly disturbing fact.

The most searched term in Google that produces a top-ranking hit on my site is:

"He-bitch man sex"

Trailing just behind are

• '09 Camaro
• Transformers Soundtrack and
• Harumi Nemoto

Who knew I was so popular among the he-bitch man sex crowd?

Actually I should stop typing that before Google thinks I'm an authority. It's like "My Tivo thinks I'm gay!"

Labels: Technology, Website

I had a revelation today.

I don't actually hate Jade.

As I was driving to Coyote Crossing in Conshohocken for lunch last Friday, I found myself flipping the finger down Elm/Hector street in the general direction of 7th Heaven.

I was thinking about the hate that I've been harboring all this time over Jade. Thinking about how it's poisoned my soul. The hate and anger and frustration has changed me. I've turned into a different person.

Though I haven't become completely bitter, it has changed my perspective on quite a few things. It's actually become a positive influence on my life. Even though I'm still cleaning up the mess left behind in her wake, I can't let her turn me to the dark side. I can't let her change me.

I came to the conclusion that I don't need to waste any more time hating her. It's not healthy. I was indulging my own craziness. Yes, I hate what she did to me. Yes, It breaks my heart every time I think how much of a better life she would have if only she were a better person. It's been nearly a year now and I'm still thinking about her.

The hate held power over me. I don't let any one thing hold power over me like that. Why should I continue to hold on to something so negative? As someone very wise once told me, "If it ain't good for you, and it ain't good to you, there's no reason to continue doing it." The funny thing was that it was me perpetuating the hate. She stopped calling in August.

So why was I still holding on? Maybe it was some vain hope that she might change. If not for herself, then for her children. I would like to know that she's all right. More importantly, I would like to know that her daughter is all right. It breaks my heart every time I see a child with a joy of life like she had. I probably would have been the best father figure that she'll ever have.


But it's over now. I'm over her. She doesn't hold any more power whatsoever over me.

Labels: Dating, Hot Bitches, Life

Had lunch today at Coyote Crossing in Conshohocken.

That place is really really good.

We were celebrating Gina's birthday which was actually like 2 weeks ago, but it was an excuse to get everybody together.

We took two caravans to meet up with the girls and some people from Unreal. No one actually knew exactly where it was, but since I knew that immediate area, pretty well, I knew exactly how to get there. Kel couldn't understand how I knew how to get there, but didn't know where it was. Trust me. look it up on a map. What's 2 blocks from there? Need I say more?

Just by simple force of habit, I went the way I knew, which was to come down South Gulph and then down Matsonford into Conshohocken. If I actually thought about it, I should have went down River Rd. which would have spat me out at the Conshy Bridge with no turns. Oh well. Jeff, as usual starts to freak out when he doesn't know where he is. This is the conversation that went on going down 8th Street:

"Where are we!?!?!?!"
    "We're ... here."
"Oh, I know where we are! THIS PLACE IS AWESOME!!!!!"

Coyote Crossing had a really pleasant atmosphere. There was a bar up front, but then there was the big dining area for tables of like a dozen or more. It was really good Mexican food. Not like other Mexican places I've been to where it's just been some slop that they throw on a tortilla or so classy that it loses all authenticity. I highly recommend it. It would actually be a good place to take a date. They had a really nice wine selection. Not that we had a liquid lunch or anything. :)

Labels: Bars, Food, Night life, Work

God Dammit!

I almost pulled another "Jeff" today.

Sure enough as I walked out the door this morning, I left my work laptop right in the same fucking place as I did yesterday. Fortunately I was only a mile away from my house before I realized it and hung a quick U-ie.

Labels: Work

Yo, you know the clip. It's been passed around the internet like an elephant leg at a Reggae festival.

Two girls, one cup.

I personally don't ever want to see it. That shit's just revolting.
But ?uestLove from The Roots has seen it. So has the rest of The Roots crew. ?uest videotaped their initial viewing of it and threw it up on his MySpace page.

Yo for real, that's the funniest shit I've seen in like a minute.

Labels: Comedy, Videos

Dammit!

I pulled my very first "Jeff" today.

I walked into my cube with me personal laptop in my hand. I looked over and noticed that my dock was empty. Where was my work laptop? Had the laptop Nazis decided to punish me for not locking it up over the weekend by moving it? Did someone steal it? Then I realized.

Damn, I took it home over the weekend! I left it on the couch! Shit.

I brought it home over the weekend just in case I needed it, and didn't give it another thought. When leaving for work this morning, since I hadn't though about it over the weekend, I also didn't think to pick it up on the way out the door.

Well, I wasn't about to drive back home to get it. Fuck it. I'll work on my personal laptop today. I've got most everything I need on it to do my job, anyway.

Fortunately, I didn't have much in the way of physical work to do today. Mostly meetings until the afternoon. Then I goofed off for the rest of the day, so.... win!

Labels: Work

WTF? Somebody was smoking some good LSD when they came up with this shit.


Yes, I know you don't smoke LSD.

Labels: Movies, TV

OK, we've proved it twice now. AJ Feely is NOT a better quarterback than Donovan McNabb.

Two consecutive weeks, Feely has thrown an interception on both the opening play and the play to end the game for the Eagles, sealing their losses.

Against New England, it was like damn, we have a chance to not fuck this up. Oh wait. Who are we? The Eagles. Nevermind. We could have been the only team to have beaten the Patriots. What a tremendous moral victory that would have been.

In the games that he's started for us, Feely has made more bad decisions than Donovan has made good.

Labels: Rants, Sports

You know, I was watching TV this weekend and saw the movie Money Train.

I was just thinking, remember how beautiful Jennifer Lopez used to be?

What I mean by that is back in 1995, she was this pretty down chick from the Bronx with curly hair. She was approachable even if you only had a little game. So attractive, and the apple of everyone's eye.

Now she is the entity known as J.Lo, a millionairess with champagne tastes, who marries other celebrities at will. Yes, she's still got the onion booty (it may have even been enhanced since then), but basically a Hollywood starfucker.

I remember the lyric, "Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got. I'm still Jenny from the block.". Nothing could be further from the truth. With her makeup and hair product lines that people pay fortunes for, she is so superficial and artificial, it makes me wanna puke. And yet she has been deified as a Hollywood/Music industry diva, nay, queen, nay god. Her music isn't that good and neither is her acting. She ain't even all that cute anymore.

I would have preferred she remain humble. Every time I see those commercials for her new album, it makes me wanna gag and throw up in my mouth a little. I feel physically ill. She is so fake.

Labels: Hot Bitches, Movies, Music, Philosophizing, TV

I had dinner with my mother Friday night at Chili's Friday night. We met a very quick-witted little server, who my mother made friends with instantly. I have dubbed this kid her new boyfriend. :)

Mom was busy slamming down a margarita the size of your head. Good meal.

On Saturday, we went to breakfast at O'Grady's, our typical Saturday morning run.

Saturday night, our greedy asses went to Chili's again for an early dinner! Only this time we went to the one in Wayne, so as not to be spotted by anyone working at the one in KOP the night before. Yes our silly greedy asses were back at Chili's to grub two consecutive nights. We should be ashamed of ourselves. :S

I noticed a lot of girls wearing Villanova jumpsuits. I thought to myself, "There sure are a lot of people wearing Villanova stuff today." It didn't occur to me that d'uh, it might be the fact that we're only a couple of miles from the stadium and it's game day. D'uh, they might be uniforms. Oh, yeah. Cheerleaders. D'uh.

This time, we both pounded margaritas. They weren't that string, but damn, they were tasty. :)

Labels: Bars, Family, Food