My girl Des hipped me to this last night.

Evidently the latest trend in body art is Blacklight Tattoos. Tats are barely visible in ordinary light, but hit the club and bam! Under UV blacklight the tats glow in the dark. That's so effing cool!




LATEST BODY ART TREND: 'INVISIBLE' TATTOOS

Labels: Tattoos

God this commercial is imbecilic. Yet another in a long line of TV commercials that proves only one thing...America actually is as stupid as it looks.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShWp1IbRKQE" target="dunkincommercial"><img src="http://www.waldoland.com/images/blogimages/dunkindonutscommercial.jpg" alt="Dunkin Donuts commercial on YouTube" style="border: 2px solid #666666;" /></a>

It seems like the latest trend in advertising is to produce the most asinine commercials possible. This can be seen in the broad variety of commercials that are prevalent today. Just turn on your TV and flip to any channel and I bet you will come across any number of these commercials. There's something to be said for the basic principle of advertising, AIDA (attract, interest, desire, action), but come on. Why stupid? If anything, it will Annoy, Irritate, Disgust, and Avert.

TV commercials for the past few years have become increasingly stupid. Do you remember the Quizno's commercials with the two singing rats (a.k.a. sponge monkeys)? Did that really make you want to buy a sandwich? Did that even amuse you a little bit? No. It made people want to vomit so much that Quizno's lost business and was forced to pull the spots due to increasing complaint.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZrks-BPeLQ" target="quiznos"><img src="http://www.waldoland.com/images/blogimages/quiznoscommercial.jpg" alt="Quizno's commercial on YouTube" style="border: 2px solid #666666;" /></a>

It's like advertising companies aren't even trying anymore. They're just taking money to produce commercials that a first-grader could (and probably did) come up with. "Hey, my son Josh cam up with a great campaign for your product last night after he took a poopie like a big boy" Is it only going to get worse from here?

Remember the HeadOn Apply directly to forehead spots? Where they would chain the same irritating commercial together three times in a row? And then the had the balls to produce yet another SERIES of commercials where people would interrupt the commercial and spout off how much they couldn't stand the commercial, but loved the product! What balls!

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_SwD7RveNE" target="headon"><img src="http://www.waldoland.com/images/blogimages/headoncommercial.jpg" alt="HeadOn commercial on YouTube" style="border: 2px solid #666666;" /></a>

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0HAmqYTJqo" target="headon"><img src="http://www.waldoland.com/images/blogimages/headoncommercial2.jpg" alt="HeadOn anti-commercial on YouTube" style="border: 2px solid #666666;" /></a>


Please tell me that this trend will stop sometime soon.




Quizno's spokes-rats grab attention
Your Most Irritating TV Commercial?
What is the most irritating television commercial that you've ever seen?

Labels: Advertising, TV

I know this has been out for a long while, but I just felt that I had to comment on it. Have you seen that new Boost Mobile commercial?

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PLvuwKRBj4" target="youtube"><img src="http://www.waldoland.com/images/blogimages/boostmobile2.jpg" alt="Boost Mobile Commerical with Jemaine Dupri, Young Jeezy, and Mickey Avalon on YouTube" style="border: 2px solid #666666;" /></a>

I'm not mad at all about Jermaine Dupri or Young Jeezy in the song. They're alright. Not nearly as hot a track as the first one with Kanye West, Ludacris, and The Game, though. I actually downloaded that and played it constantly. I memorized the lyrics. I even learned how to play it on the bass. The track was hot. This one's kinda weak and commercial, but ... it's a commercial.



Anyway ... What the hell is that skinny transgendered-looking white dude(?) that thinks he can rap at the end of the commercial? It's no wonder this thing only got 2 lines. Whatever the hell it is, it spits out two lines of the weakest, second grade shit I've ever heard. Who the fuck are you and why did you think that was appealing? Who's dick did you suck at Boost Mobile to get in this commercial? I mean seriously.

I'm that dude that got whatchya need.
Eyes on the prize. Pickin' Up speed

I'm not sure, but I think dude(?)'s got a perm, makeup, hip-hugger jeans, platforms, and has midriff showing. He couldn't be more feminine if he were actually a woman. Who actually thought that this would sell phones? It's another in a long line of stupid-ass advertising ploys that they believe that America will swallow like tripe. And sure enough, we do.



Come to find out that's Mickey Avalon. Dude, your shit is weak. What the fuck? I'm that dude that got whatchya need? I'm glad I don't need flow. Maybe I need hormone therapy.

You know, I had ONE track from this dude, Jane Fonda. I downloaded it because I thought it was pleasant and the little club rat kids seem to like it. But after seeing and hearing this dude(?), I assure you there will not be more.

Labels: Advertising, Music, TV, Videos

Just the simple fact that the blogs in MySpace can't be cross-posted or imported.

If I write a blog post on this site, I can let Facebook import my XML Feed and blammo, instant cross-post into their Notes feature.

With MySpace, I literally have to manually copy and paste every blog post I write and re-post it in MySpace. For someone who posts regularly, this is an incredible pain in the ass. On top of that, MySpace's wysiwyg editor is complete crap. If I post markup that for example, has a <table> tag in it, MySpace thinks they're clever and scrubs it out and replaces it with bad markup. Their scrubbed markup is not even close to XHTML-compliant (or even HTML-compliant), so I'm limited in what I can actually post to MySpace.

Labels: Blogger, Blogging, Facebook, MySpace, Pop Culture, Technology

To all my tech geek friends, you should find this hilarious.

I was surfing the web and stubled across this image of a dude who has HTML markup tatooed on the back of his neck. More specifically, a closing </head> tag, followed by an opening <body> tag.

To quote Desirea, awesome. :)

Labels: Comedy, Geekdom, Tattoos, Technology, Web Development

That'll teach me to eat 4 Cheddar-Wurst for dinner at 11 at night.

Labels: Food

Went to Arby's tonight, because dad gave me coupons. Tried their new cheesecake bites. Awesome.

Hot little cheesecake nuggets with a raspberry dipping sauce. Schweet. Although...

I looked in my bag and there was a little tub of some sauce called Bronco Berry Sauce. I read the fine print on the label which mentioned high fructose corn syrup, red peppers, jalapenos and garlic. Something didn't sound right. Berries and peppers?

I have to admit I was curious. I cracked the seal on it and the smell was just fucking horrendous! God damn, that shit was awful. Of all the smells I could have expected when combining those two particular flavors, that was just fucking wrong! I put a tiny dab on my tongue and it was just as bad as I expected. Eww, eww, eww! I actually started to gag from the taste.

Whose fucking idea was this? What planet did you come from where you might have thought this marriage made in hell would have tasted good. Come to find out that Arby's has even more revolting demonically-inspired sauce flavors launching, like Peachapeno. What the fuck is a Peachapeno?

That shit ain't right.

Labels: Food, Rants

Y'all aint even heard from my ass in the 08.

I been busy as a sumummabitch through the New Year. Working on the new release of YellowBook.com, but I promise I've got posts in the queue, ready to back date.

So stay tuned, campers. There's a whole bunch coming.

Labels: Blogging, Life, Website, Work

That's so awesome.

I was watching Jackass: Number Two and I saw that Johnny Knoxville has a Wawa logo tattooed on his upper left arm. Truly a testament to how awesome Wawas are. My guess would be that Bam Margera and his crew had some influence over that, since we know that Knoxville's not exactly from 'round here.

I think it's especially awesome because I worked for Wawa for two years. It just makes me happy that I've touched him in an indirect way. :)

Labels: Comedy, Movies, Pop Culture, Tattoos

Hehe. :)

Aight, so you know by know, that I take my moms out to breakfast at the O'Grady's Restaurant every Saturday.

I just thought this was funny.

There was this new girl there hostessing. We could tell she was real brand new. Silly girl went to seat the two of us at a six person booth. There were several two-person booths available. We're big people, but we're not that big. We tried to get her to turn around. If she did, whe would have seen the manager frantically waving at her to seat us over in the smaller booths. Duh, silly girl.

Later on, we found her running around trying to refill people's coffee with an empty pot. Even later she was running around with a decaf pot and didn't know it. Yes, sweetie, the orange ones are decaf.

I'm just making fun of her. She was a nice girl. She'll get it.

Labels: Food

My crazy-ass mother just called me. God I love her, but sometimes talking to her is like having a voluntary stroke.

She called to tell me that she was flipping through the channels and happened to come across the 2008 Pennsylvania Farm Show. She was watching the youth squaredancing events and was laughing her ass off because the caller was shouting out Country versions of KC and the Sunshine band type shit.

My father, who happened to be at my house doing laundry at the time, was present when she called and I put her on speakerphone. My mother was tickled pink that she was watching fucking squaredancing. At one point in this surreal moment, she uttered the phrase, "That's what the kids need today, more squaredancing, less blowjobs."

First off, why are you watching the fucking PA Farm Show? Is there really that little on? Is life really that boring? I mean, seriously.

Secondly, what the fuck? I'm not laughing my ass off. Not at the surreality of the farm show, but the absurdity of the moment. I can't believe those words actually fell out of my own mother's mouth. I think I had a small mini-stroke.


OK, that being said, the point is actually valid. I remember when I left Upper Merion Area Middle School to go to the high school, every year I would hear these reports of how the middle school students were getting progressively worse. The kids were fucking animals. I would miss the bus to go home and mosey my ass down to the middle school to take their buses home (which left a half hour later). I was terrified to ride the bus home with these maniacs. I don't know what happened to the administration after I left, but they needed to get a serious grip on these kids.

More to the point, amongst those middle school horror tales, I would hear stories of these middle school kids getting caught giving blowjobs and handjobs for money in the hallways and stairwells. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?

I could sense every year in high school that the middle school was getting worse. That was ten years ago. I can only imagine what adolescent kids are like today.

I think part of the problem is that kids today have far too much, gotten way too easily. They are in a word, spoiled. They YouTube generation is taking over. Kids today have cellphones, texting, and the internet at their fingertips. Kids today are being raised without a sense of work ethic. They don't have to work at all for the things they want. They just say "I want, I want! Gimme, gimme!" Couple that with parents becoming less and less "hands-on", kids have no sense of consequence to their actions. "I do what I want, when I want, and fuck you for asking!"

Kids today have no healthy preoccupations. Organized sports and activities are taking a nosedive nation-wide. Kids have nothing better to do than to contemplate ever-more inventive ways ways of getting into trouble. Is it any fucking wonder kids are giving blowjobs in the halls. Do you remember that colored bracelet shit? Where each color represented some sexual act performed. Jeeeezus Fucking Christ! Maybe they should take up squaredancing. At least it would give them some structure in their lives.

I've said it before, I'll say it again. I'm no prude, but where the hell do we go from here? How much farther can society drop? God I sound old, but what the hell? You know what's funny? I sound like that typical You don't understand my generation parent. It's funny because my parents absolutely were NOT that type of parent. I just want that when I have children, that they don't have the means, or the facilities to fuck up to this magnitude.

As Chris Rock said, "They don't grade fathers, but if your daughter's a stripper, you fucked up."

Labels: Pop Culture, Rants, Society

What the hell happened to Charlie's U-Turn Inn?

The U-Turn was a tiny little bar nested between Bridgeport and King of Prussia. They used to have a softball team that played in the league when my father player, eons ago. Just an ordinary local bar.

I heard a rumor, believe it or not, from my mother, that the U-Turn had been turned into a strip club. I couldn't believe my ears. I had to confirm this for myself.

So last night after work, I drove by the U-Turn. No fucking way! Sure enough, what was once the U-Turn, is now the Just Enuff Lounge. Sunnuvabitch!

A tiny little strib club, exccuse me, bikini/lingerie bar on the outskirts of Upper Merion. What really surprises me is that Upper Merion actually let it exist. Well, I guess if there's a Hooters, there can be the Just Enuff Lounge.

Didn't go inside because I was laughing far too hard. This tiny ass place with a spacious parking lot that holds all of two cars has the nerve to have a dress code posted on the door. Hah! And the dress code is so minimal, ultimately reading, No Niggas. Please.

I may check it out one day, but for real, I need to keep my ass out of strip clubs for a very long while. It seems every time I go to one, I end up going home with one of them. Shyiiiiiiiiit.

Labels: Bars, Strip clubs

Lifetime TV is launching a new show this season called How To Look Good Naked. A new type of makeover show in the vein of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, hosted by Carson Kressley.

I love the concept of this show. It teaches full-sized women to love their bodies. That they shouldn't have to resort to extreme dieting or cosmetic surgery, trying to look like magazine models. Self-image is one of the biggest psychological issues among full-sized women. No matter how beautiful these women are, they never see themselves as such. As long as they see that they are not a size zero, they won't believe that they are beautiful. It's a crying shame.

Did you know that four out of five American women today say they are are dissatisfied with their bodies?

I hate that fashion industry-driven projection that women should look like toothpicks and Barbie dolls. In fact I hate a bony bitch. Women are subjected to this barrage of imagery that tells them that their bodies aren't good enough. I have news for you, ladies. Even those sacks of anorexia aren't as thin as they appear. Repeat the following words after me, "Airbrush, Photoshop, CGI, Digital Enhancement, Eating Disorder"

Something else I saw to this effect was the release of a photography book by Leonard Nimoy (yes, Mr. Spock) called "The Full Body Project" in which he used very Rubenesque full-figured nude models. The book can be viewed as almost an indictment of Hollywood and the glamour machine that spoon feeds the message that women should be a size zero. I'm very proud of him for doing such bold work.



I'm not a chubby-chaser or anything, but I do appreciate a full-figured woman. I like a woman with a little meat on her bones. Nothing wrong with that. More than that, I like a woman that's got a little size, but is confident with her shit. There's nothing more sexy than confidence. There's nothing less sexy to me than insecurity. I know that's a backwards-ass statement coming from my fat ass, who's very insecure about my weight.

On the other hand, though I'd love nothing more than to drop like a hundy, I also have self-image expectations set in reality. I work with what I've got. Sometimes I don't always dress the best for my body, but I do clean up good. especially lately. I make the sexy work for me.

There's nothing wrong with thinking you're sexy. If you think it, you will project it. If you believe that you are, then you are.


Bottom line, be proud of what you have. If you could lose a few pounds, well ok. Couldn't we all? Just don't let Cosmo tell you what your body should look like.



'How To Look Good Naked' Becomes Most-Watched Reality Series Premiere in Lifetime...
How To Look Good Naked by Leonard Nimoy
The Full Body Project by Leonard Nimoy

Labels: Fitness, Life, Pop Culture, Society, TV